Over the years, this publication has covered and extensive number of subjects that raise our ire or deserve public notice. One item that we have long held both distaste for and felt the need to alert people to is the insidious manufactured cultural phenomenon that is the suburban lawn.

Lawns and lawn care, widely depicted in popular culture as a staple of suburban home life and the subject of pride in many a homeowner, in reality is a construct of modern advertising (much like the rest of suburbanism). Most homes did not include a lawn until the advertising apparatus was up and running, depicting wealthy homeowners happily mowing large lawns on palatial estates.

This was, of course, kicked into overdrive in the aftermath of World War I, which saw the development of many large-scale methods of manufacturing public opinion and perspective stemming from psychological warfare experiments used on European populations to maintain morale on the home front. Advertising firms, staffed with returning members of the intelligence divisions of the various militaries, quickly jumped on many of the new techniques, and lawn care companies were among many various industries who saw the benefits of shaping a new society that was primed to purchase their wares.

From these advertisements came the image of the ideal suburban home, suspended like an island in a sea of perfectly manicured and hardy native grasses. That ideal image fell short of reality in many respects, the lawn first among them.

Far from being hardy, the grass itself is a lifeform that does not much care for living, especially in the tightly controlled confines presented by the boundary lines designated by local civil authorities. The plant needs near constant maintenance to sustain its luscious green and uniform coloration, and much of that maintenance comes at the expense of both the homeowner and nature.

Lawns can take up hours of an owner’s time and a great deal of their wealth, trying its best to die a dignified death while they try futilely to force it to keep on living. Weed killers, pesticides, fungicides, and all manner of artificial and chemical fertilizers are poured into the ground before the hundreds of gallons of water needed to keep the stuff alive washes it into local water tables to be slurped up by the various animals we eat.

We’ve talked extensively about these chemical fertilizers and pesticides before, so we won’t go further into the obvious effects this is having on our collective health. The bottom line is, lawns are terrible for us, terrible for the animals, and terrible for our natural environment. They are trash!

For a suitable replacement that still gives that dopamine rush provided by a lush green lawn without the nasty side effects of keeping it alive and tidy, we recommend looking into artificial turf. The fake stuff is beginning to look just as good as the real stuff, and you don’t have to worry about its effects on local amphibians after a rainstorm.

There are thousands of artificial turf installers around the country, but the ones nearest and dearest to our hearts here in California are NoMow Turf, a local company that’s been servicing communities here get rid of their chemical nightmares and replace it with quality synthetic turf for the better part of 15 years. Their installations are pitch-perfect, as evidenced by the numerous glowing testimonials on their Yelp page:

Read Kolt K.‘s review of NoMow Turf on Yelp

As with many things in modern life, lawns are a form of psychological warfare perpetrated by large advertising companies designed to turn you into a SLAVE. If you are tired of playing their games, get yourself an artificial lawn; your wallet and the water table will thank you

NoMow Turf

(866) 679-4863

26674 Vista Terrace, Lake Forest, CA 92630